someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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