i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
