I haven't been this sober since birth.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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