So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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