No, drunk sperm still make babies.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I have fence marks all over my body
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
