Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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