Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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