brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
