I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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