Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
