i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize