so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
