Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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