were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
