A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
