You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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