It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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