Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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