sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
