At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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