Soap is not a condiment
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
