..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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