the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
