i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
