I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
