Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
