did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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