I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
