what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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