hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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