Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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