I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
