He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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