Porn is love you can see.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
