one might say we're banned from that church
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
