is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She's like a pop up book from hell.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
