The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
