Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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