I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
