I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
