I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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