Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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