We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
