If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
