Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
