But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
