either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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