she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
