it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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