i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
